I have decided that the ridiculous saying is true.  The more things change; the more they stay the same.  I'm so tired of it though.

Yes, ambiguous post is ambiguous. 

So yesterday was July 25, which means I FINALLY SAW PROJECT 86 IN CONCERT.  I've been trying to for literally years.  It's annoying.  Part of me was afraid that they wouldn't live up to my expectations, but my expectations were apparently completely warranted.  Holy crap.  The mosh pit was INSANE.  There were so many thrashers it was rather annoying.  Especially since I am apparently a magnet for thrashers.  The insanity lasted for 5.5 hours.  HOURS.  In mosh pit time, that's insane.

During Gwen Stacy's set, I somehow got shoved in the middle of a crazy circle of doom (I think that's where I got one of the hits to my face) and then (blessedly) got shoved out of it by means of nearly falling over, only to be saved by a rather large man (easily 6'5 and 250) catching me by way of a hug.  He also asked if I was okay, which was both nice and annoying simultaneously.  Thankfully, that put me in the middle of a group of his friends, or at least similarly sized guys, which was nice for a while. 

I got brave again for the Project 86 set, which ..well, me getting brave wouldn't have changed anything.  I started that show in the middle, about 5 people back.  I ended somewhere on the right, about 10 people back.  I have no idea how that happened.  I do remember that was one of the "oh crap, that doesn't feel normal" moments I had.  My ribs hurt, but not as bad as they did last night.  Sneezing and coughing should be avoided at all costs, however.  Death by mob or trampling has risen as one of my top least favorite ways to die.  Project 86 played a nice mix of new and old stuff.  It was quite nice.  I got super excited when they played Stein's Theme. They played Sincerely, Ichabod, Spy Hunter, The Hand, the Furnace, the Straight Face, Glass Eyed Angel, and other ones that I can't think of right now.  They're awesome live.

During..The Chariot? I think, I got stuck in the middle of a thrasher pit, and I got to pull out a girl next to me.  Then some massive dude ran into me hardcore and I went flying.  That hurt too.  Decided I don't really like their music, and I have no good explanation for that.

Before Haste the Day started, I was standing in the middle, just waiting.  Then some hicks walked up.  Like, serious hicks.  We're talking both of them were shirtless in overalls.  And they had very hicky Southern accents.  I stood there trying to hard not to start laughing at the ludicrous nature of their conversation, which went as follows:

H1: Dude, you take a dump?
H2: Hell no, not in that bathroom.  Well...yeah.  AND I'M GONNA HAFTA TAKE ONE AGAIN IN A FEW MINUTES!
H1: Must have been from the seven pounds of Taco Bell you ate.

And on it went.  Thankfully, the guy in front of me, who was a bit taller, but not enough to bother me or really obstruct my view, offered to let me stand in front of him.  So at the start of the HtD set, I was dead center, third person back.  After the second crowdsurfer grabbed and pulled my hair, and I got run into repeatedly, I decided to go get some water before I started hitting people back.  I almost slugged a guy that patted my shoulder as I was walking out.  I got a bottle of water and chugged that in like..two minutes tops.  I saw the rest of the concert a nice distance away.  Like Project 86, they also played a nice blend of old and new.  They ended with American Love, which is one of my favorite songs by them.  They also played Walk On, When Everything Falls, and a bunch of others. 

This concert has furthered my belief that if you cannot legally operate a vehicle, you should not be in a mosh pit.  Also, lace-up shoes should be required.  And crowdsurfing is retarded and annoying.  Thrashers are equally annoying, but at least I can get retribution more easily on them.  Crowdsurfers have a distinct advantage that I dislike intensely.  Well, I could not support their weight, but that wouldn't really do much since there's a crapload of other people to hold them up.  
After a night's sleep, my thoughts are much less fragmentary and much more ordered. 

Anyway, bands to check out: Gwen Stacy, Oh Sleep, A Plea for Purging, For Today, and Sleeping Giant.
 

I'm taking a break from the continued saga of organizing my room.  It wouldn't seem so bad, but a lot of boxes are half unpacked, so it seems like more than it is.  Blah.  And my closet has like..no air movement.  You'd think the ceiling fan would help, but it doesn't.  And there's not light in there, despite it's walk-in closet status.  Flashlights are my new best friends.

My third shift since the start of the wonderful pool season at WMF was...interesting.  It was at the pool that I prefer because it has shade.  Anyway.  This guy's leaving and he walks up to where I'm sitting and decides to stand in my personal space bubble.  My first thought was that he was drunk, mostly because he was extremely close and seemed uhm...uninhibited.  It's a good thing I didn't bet on that, because I ended up being wrong.  Anyway, dude standing too close to me asks if he can bring a kareoke machine with him to the pool with some friends.  My first thought was that I hoped it wasn't during a shift I was working so I didn't have to suffer through it.  I told him he could, so long as it wasn't played too loudly, which would violate rule 11 about no loud music.  Yes, I have that particular rule number memorized.  Don't ask me why, I've forgotten.  So he was like, "So you're saying I can bring it, so long as I don't play it too loudly."  I gave him some sort of affirmative answer that simultaneously skirted the edges of even answering his question and then he asked if they could just sing louder instead of playing the music louder.  This completely reaffirmed my desire to be as far away from the pool that day as possible.  Then he starts badgering me about what I sing.  We play the "what do you sing"/"I don't sing" dance for a while.  Then he was like, "you seem like a country type of girl...no...you're an alternative sort of girl.  Like Green Day and stuff."  To which I responded that I hate Green Day (which is mostly true, I can't listen to their music for some reason, although I do like a few of their songs).  He goes off on this tangent about how I'm the librarian type that can really sing.  It should be noted that I was reading The Wilkomirski Affair, which has the tagline of  "A study in biographical truth".  So...it was pretty nerdy.  He had glanced at the book and got this weird expression on his face, which I took to mean "what the hell is that".  Then he goes off about how he can't see my eyes so he's sure I'm lying to him.  I took off my sunglasses in the hopes that it would make him leave faster (no such luck).  He got distracted and finally left after reconfirming that he could, in fact, bring a kareoke machine with him.  

I really dislike the mothers who don't discipline their kids at all but get really pissed off when I yell at their darling children for running, roughhousing, and so on.  One of the darling children twisted another boy's wrist to get...something.  I could never figure out the rules of that particular game.  At worst, it's a mild sprain, but I asked him and he said he was fine.  So I took the darling boy's ball thing away from him.  There was a small amount of vindictive pleasure from that.  Even more so when they finally left.  Seriously, why do the troublemakers stay the longest and the ones that don't cause problems leave so soon?  

I began this week thinking that I had a bunch of stuff due.  I also had to hold two evening review sessions for my darling chemistry people.  Monday night, no one came, which was odd.  But you know what, it's their choice.  I can only spend so much time talking and passing out bookmarks and emailing them. 

Tuesday, I had a test in tech editing and got my first assignment back.  I knew I hadn't done as well as I could have, but she didn't even give me a grade, just told me to rewrtie it.  So...I went straight from getting back a failing project to going to handle another chemistry review session.  This time, I had four students.  I wasn't in the best mood, I'll admit.  But I was trying for the benefit of my tutorees.  I really, truly appreciated the people that noted that I had tutorees and waited outside the classroom.  I did not appreciate the people coming into the classroom that I had reserved and talking.  So, I asked them "If you are not here for the chemistry review session, could you please wait outside."  I said it loud enough so that the entire lecture hall could here me and not be able to say they hadn't.  Two people told me that I had been rude.  At that point, I really just wanted to...do something drastic.  But I appreciate that my tutorees agreed with me by saying that I had not been rude.  So I really just wanted to curl into a small ball on Tuesday and hide from the world.  

I talked to my tech editing professor, and she liked my design and everything else, I just needed to make the paragraphs into steps.  When I turned in the project, I didn't know I could do that.  So...it's an easy-ish solution.  It honestly makes me feel better about the project.  I was thinking I was going to have to throw everything out.  Instead, I just need to mess with the formatting.  Much, much better.

Tonight is the Twilight showing.  Edward, Hughes, and I are going to wear our team Edward...Elric shirts and hopefully not die.  Yay.

Crawling out of eternal damnation.
It’s time to change your life around.
No more weeping, dry your eyes.
You’ve come so far.
Time to test your faith.
Look into its face, all that’s been misplaced.
All the suffering erased. Death awaits.
Could you ever find a way to let me in to help you?
Chase the monsters all away, or anything that haunts you.
Will you ever find a way, will you close your eyes with me?
Will there ever be a time you will let me inside?
Standing up in your master’s glory.
It’s time to prove yourself.
No more weeping, dry your eyes.
You’ve come so far.
Time to test your faith.
Before it’s too late, crawl back into grace.
Look into its face.
Death awaits.
Could you ever find a way to let me in to help you?
Chase the monsters all away, or anything that haunts you.
Will you ever find a way, will you close your eyes with me?
Will there ever be a time you will let me inside?
- Crawl, Soul Embraced

Left to my ambitions, I find myself feeling
Short of breath and losing hope again

When will I be free?
When will I feel alive?
I am at my end, and I can't breath.

I can't breathe; everything I do is useless.
I can't do this on my own; I'm fading.
Too many times I've left in silence;
This time I won't give up so soon.

Crying out for some relief,
I keep breaking my own heart.
Giving up on my resolve,
I keep trying but I keep failing.
This all seems so familiar;
I think we've been here once before.
Saying sorry once again;
Saying sorry once again.

- Breaking My Own Heart
Haste the Day
 

I decided to rearrange my room.  And I did.  Now my arms are sore.  We'll see how well this arrangement works out.  I'm not sure that I'll be jumping up and down to move it back the way it was though.  Getting it like this took too freaking long.  It did suffice as a great procrastination effort though, since I have like...4 papers/projects I need to be working on.  Yay.

Things I need to do this weekend:
Get started on my history paper about the XYZ Affair (yay snoozeville)
Write my linguistics journal entry
Write my Shakespeare performance review
Start researching for the Shakespeare final project/paper/thing that steals my soul
Prepare dinner thing for Monday night (the pirate apartment will be consuming taco bake)
Not panic about my graphic novel midterm
Decide whether I need to call my dad or not (I'm leaning towards not, but then again, I ...need to pay tuition)
Go out to hang out with my life group for a while
Not die due to sinuses.

I really wish my allergist would call me back with a name so that I could go get tested and get meds.  Over the counter medication doesn't really help me out any, and I'm extremely tired of feeling like I'm going to die due to pollen.

Alright, back to paper writing.

The low tonight is 49.  Sweet. 

I love autumn/Febtober

I went to the Anberlin concert on Saturday night.  As always, it was amazing.  Anberlin is probably one of the best live bands I've seen.  The interesting highlights of the night will be in list form.

1.  If you are on crutches or have any other sort of physical empediment that would obstruct your balance, standing in the mosh pit is a bad idea.

2.  Wear closed toed, laced shoes.  Seriously, no one wants to have to deal with people not wearing shoes.

3.  Large bags are acceptable....never.

4.  Presuming you get pushed to the side by a thrasher (and you more than likely will), do NOT flail your leg up in an attempt to keep your balance, because you will hit someone.  And that someone will probably be limping the next day.  I am exhibit A on that one.  Thanks random dude in the turquoise shirt.

5.  Always, always wear deoderant.  We don't want to smell you any more than we absolutely have to.

6.  If you have space in front of you that you can move up into, or if you notice that you are leaning back into someone else, please don't.  Personal space boundaries are pretty much nonexistent in mosh pits, but I really don't like having strange guys that I don't know leaning against my boobs, kthnx.  When I know you keep your wallet in your left back pocket, we have issues.

My first SI test is tomorrow.  I'm not really worried about myself, because at this point, I'm pretty sure I could take the test in my sleep.  For all of my little pupil people, I'm nervous.  And that person that emailed me about one on one tutoring, showed up to test review sessions and asked the same questions at both sessions, you can just die in a fire.  And asking me to explain a rather vague concept when I'm not even a chem major is ridiculous. 

I took my ling test.  Uhm..the first half was fine.  The second half was rather...odd.  What she was asking wasn't talked about in the textbook nor did she discuss it in class.  So...I'm thinking I didn't do that well on the test.  So I'll be attending the extra credit lecture tomorrow afternoon.  Yayz.

So I realize that midterms are two weeks away.  But how is it already October?  Or Febtober, as Maggie calls it.

The good news is that so far, I'm pulling A's in all of my classes.  Yay.

Although I do have the dreaded two day (no joke) Shakespeare midterm.  And a graphic novel criticism to write.  And...a linguistics test.  Joy.  Some days, I think linguistics is kind of interesting.  Other days, I want to bash my head into the desk repeatedly.

Saturday evening is going to be freakin awesome.  Anberlin's in town, and they're playing at The Door.  I'm so disturbingly excited.  I start fangirling at odd moments.  I'm trying very hard not to be an overbearing fangirl though.  Richard, MD, and some of their friends are going with me.  Or I'm going with them.  I guess since I have the tickets, they're going with me.  Amazing how that works.

I love this time of year.  I love the weather and the trees changing colors and the nice chill bite to the air in the mornings.  I'm not a huge fan of what the pollen does to me, since pollen and I have many disagreements.  But overall, fall is my favorite time of year.  Closely followed by winter, of course.

That's pretty much all I have.  Not much to say these days.  Or not much I feel like sharing, I suppose.

I have a lot to do this weekend.  Some of it is definitely more domestic, but it will serve it's purpose for being a distraction from studying.  I have a quiz on Monday in my despised Linguistics class, a history test on Tuesday, and a paper due on RIII for Wednesday.  Have I ever mentioned that I hate Shakespeare with a passion?

I've also found that I don't have a lot to say on lj anymore.  Maybe it's just feeling too overwhelmed by everything else to want to talk about it.  Or not feeling like stringing coherent thoughts into words that make sense to anyone else. 

And the advertisement next to the text box is grammatically atrocious. "A perfect dream house.  More than 5 Lakh Property to choose from"
I kid you not.  My inner English major is crying in a corner.

I had a weird dream last night.  I was apparently trying on this super girly shirt that in rl, I would never even look at.  For some reason, in the dressing room, there was some guy in there.  I don't know why.  Anyway.  I'm apparently having difficulty getting out of the shirt (complete with furious hopping around),and the guy yells for me to get down.  So I'm huddled in the corner of this dressing room (which somehow resembles a bathroom stall complete with metal partitions) getting shot at.  And mentally panicking.  And also trying to be as small as possible since apparently the bullets are relatively close to hitting me.  Then I woke up.  

I was very confused.

But I have lyrics.  

I went to work today, and it was extremely slow.  I'm not complaining, because I got a lot of my book read.  I literally had 5 people in the space of 4.5 hours.  It was nice and cool and rather rainy. 

Now for the crappy part.  You would think that on a day as slow as this, you wouldn't have to call 911.  You, my friend, would be incorrect.

Someone set the trashcan in the men's restroom on fire. 

No, I'm not lying.

Apparently, whoever did it was there for quite a while because there was a half smoked cigarette in the toilet, several books of matches in the trashcan that went up in flames, and burnt up pieces of toilet paper. 

I was there for 4 hours prior to this happening and I didn't see, smell, or hear anything.  I had also moved farther from the gate so I wouldn't get rained on, and Ashlea, the subdivision manager, said something to my boss about how all the pool monitors had to sit close to the gate.  Well pardon me for not wanting to get drenched.  And it's not like they came through the gate anyway, due to the lovely footprints in the mud in the flowerbeds by the bathroom with the aforementioned toasted trashcan. 

So I got to call 911 and watch the volunteer firemen drive past the pool.  Then I had to stick around and make a statement.  So there's thirty minutes there that I'm not getting paid for, to my knowledge.  And my boss was complaining that I was leaving.  Suck it up.

Oh, I think my Mom has one of his daughters in her class.

I was trying to help her today with computer stuff and wanted to hit her on occasion because she wouldn't finish asking her question before she'd start clicking on things.  Not that she was going to wipe her hard drive or whatever, but good grief.  I can't help if I don't know what you want help with.

This is a somewhat involved tale.

Kim was bouldering and fell, somehow landing on her derriere.  The prompted a hospital trip, and what she thought was only a compressed vertebrae.  What she thought and the actuality are quite different.  Kim has a compressed fracture in her L1.  That would be the part of your spine kinda by your natural waistline.  So.  She's in the hospital and has been since...Wednesday.  She's not a good patient, mostly because she's flat on her back (which she never does), and she's never still.  Which she is now.  And she's extremely independent, which is hard to maintain when you can't really move much.  So...her parents left her at the hospital.  Which I can kinda understand.  But mostly, it really just pisses me off.  Or maybe that's the transferrance of not being used to seeing Kim being somewhat helpless.  Since she's not.  But now she is.

Hell, I need sleep.  Which I won't be getting tonight so I'm going back over the the hospital to stay with Kim.  I'm such a softie.  But, I've been up since 715 this morning, and I didn't sleep well last night at all.  I quit looking at the clock at 230.  So, another sleepless night.  Yayz.  But it's for Kim, so it's not horrible. 

The saga of today

I helped my Mom in her room at school and was trying to finish assembling her second bookcase (new ones from Target, cheapy but functional).  They weren't hard at all, but I needed the rubber mallet from home because the "no tools necessary" assembly lied to me.  Then, on my very last step, I notice that the parts for the second hardware kit are different than the ones from the first hardware kit.  Weird, but who knows.  Then I start noticing that none of the part numbers are the same from the actual parts to the index of parts.  Weird, but maybe it will work.  Did it?  No.

Then I get to go to work.  Yayz!

I decided to enclose my incident report because I don't feel like amending it any.

 

I don't really want them to lose their pool privileges.  Actually, that's a lie.  I wouldn't mind if they did.  However.  I'm not the person that makes the rules, I'm the person that enforces them.  They signed a sheet saying that they would abide by the rules.  I want them to know that you can't treat employees that way because it's really not OUR fault that you're that stupid. 

I went rockclimbing/bouldering with Kim.  I really like bouldering, but rockclimbing requires a bit more trust.  I trust Kim, but it's kinda hard to let go of a wall when you're hanging by a harness and a rope that seems a bit too thin when you're like..30ish feet in the air.  Belaying is not my friend.  Bouldering, you definitely have to trust yourself a lot more and consider how you're going to go from point A to point B in the alloted pathway.  Following the stupid yellow taped rocks kinda sucks.  So my fingers in particular dislike gripping things right now.  I picked up a gallon of milk and greatly enjoyed the coldness of the milk, but my fingers didn't like holding the dumb thing.  I'm going to hate myself tomorrow.

Anberlin is headlining a tour that will be in Dallas on Oct. 4.  I'm so disgustingly excited, I can't stand myself.  Particularly because it's on a Saturday night.  Concerts during the week suck.  And Project 86 needs to come back through since they cancelled their date ..whenever that was that I was fangirling to go.

I also made the interesting discovery about what happens when I listen to music.  Without music playing, my thoughts are rather willynilly and extremely random, almost chasing two trains of thought down two extremely different tracks.  With music, much more concentrated and focused.  I noticed that the other day and thought it was...odd.  Also,  my "happy" music is my death metal/hardcore rock stuff.  Angry music is stuff that's more classically instrumental, like...the soundtrack for Red Violin (a movie I haven't seen, probably never will, but have a copy of the soundtrack for). 

Two weeks left.  I'm both ecstatic and kind of...not.  Hard to explain, I guess.

And my Batman book has been backordered.  I would cancel the order, but it should be in Sept. 9.  Which means I have to figure out when I can get it from my Mom...  But...hopefully I can bum off Edward, if need be.  And if that need arises, I'll just cancel the order and breakdown and pay more for it.

I have all but two of my textbooks in for my lit classes.  My history and linguistics classes still haven't posted books.  I checked, and they're both full classes.  So I don't know what's up with that. 

I went to Walmart today for my Mom.  I was again reminded that I prefer to go to Walmart at midnight or later because there are fewer people.  It wasn't so bad, but it seemed that people were always standing where I needed something, and it got annoying.  The most amazing event occured when I was unloading my basket of groceries into my trunk.  This dude asked this lady if he got her truck wet when he dumped his water out the window on interstate.  She said he hadn't.  He proceeded to ask her if she were so important as to have driven on the shoulder to get to her exit to reach Walmart five minutes faster than everyone else.  I proceeded to shove groceries in my trunk faster so I could get in my car and burst into maniacal laughter.  It was...entertaining.

Pan's Labyrinth had the line of epic fail.  "My Mom is sick with baby."  I didn't realize baby was a sickness.  It wasn't a bad movie, just..seriously.  At least look at the English subtitles so people like me don't start maniacally laughing in the midst of a serious part of the movie.  Oops.

I've started packing for school.  Mostly so that I can get school stuff out of my room so I can work on the boxes of crap I have left to unpack.  Most of the stuff I've got left, I have no idea what to do with.  So....  Yeah.  It's been a slow, mostly annoying process that I've been putting off.  My bad.

I went to work, almost melted to death (it was disgustingly hot), felt like killing some people.  Didn't.  Felt proud of myself.  Came home.

My Mom is going to paint the living/dining/kitchen/entry way.  Which is cool.  But it's all like...one big room.  Literally.  So she's moved furniture within those areas.  And when I try to go to the kitchen in the dark, I almost kill myself.  Repeatedly.

My Mom was outside watering the yard and saw this adorable little dog walking down the road.  Said adorable little dog is now in our backyard.  Allow me to explain.  No tags, skinny, yet well behaved.  And seems to really like me.  Why do so many small animals like me so freaking much?  I didn't ask for it.  Leave me alone.  So the dog is currently in our backyard, much to the detriment of my dog, who is now extremely jealous and clingy.

I got my Norton Shakespeare book and Fun Home.  Why the books I'm actually wanting to show up first don't, I don't know.  But they haven't.  Silly Batman.  Comics are for English majors.

I should probably go to bed since I'm getting up at like 0545.  Don't ask me why, I can't remember why I agreed to this.

So.  Good news.  I finally got my dad to straighten out what he was going to do for me in terms of rent and food and such.  That's a relief.  I don't feel this odd cloud of panic hanging over my head anymore.

I was looking on amazon for DK posters and found this poster.  I'm contemplating buying it.  However, since I recently bought that bookcase (Maggie and I match.  Again.), Loveless, and the Nodes of Ranvier cd, I may put that off for another paycheck.  But I'm so tempted. 

Edward, when you went to poke me yesterday and I slammed my elbow backwards in self-defense and hit the chair, I gave myself one giant bruise.  Right on the bone too.  I have such talent.

I'm slightly excited and slightly nervous about moving into the appa-partment.  I like the idea of having a kitchen and just being off campus.  I liked the dorms, but after a while, it got annoying.  I am apprehensive about having to cook more frequently.  It would be easier to eat out or still have a meal plan (shudder), but not cost effective nor overly nutritious.  And since I'm the only one with more extensive culinary knowledge...  I like cooking, and I'll probably be able to rope in one of the other three to help me.  I suppose I'm just worried about having a varied enough repertoire of recipes to make.  It'll work out though. 

And, third floor?  Really?  I'm kinda glad and kinda not.  Sigh.

Edit:  Why is LJ so stupid about trying to link stuff?  I literally took me like 15 tries to get that one little link to work.  Frustrating.

I got the job.  Sorry, that was like two days ago now that I found out, but things got busy and a little weird. 

My dad finally told me what he's willing to do for my expenses this coming year.  That only took most of the summer.

I realize this is rather..brief.  But I'm not really in the mood to get all long and drawn out about anything right now.